comic-marty-higgins

Comedians @ AMUSEUM

Marty Higgins • Satirist • Writer • Director • Comedian

Marty Higgins
• 1982 - 1992 •

East Bay Journal excerpts • title?

Month 198? · East Bay Journal • byline?

Martin Higgins, writer, director, satirist, and all-around professional curmudgeon in the tradition of H.L. Mencken and W.C. Fields, is one of those prodigiously talented individuals often referred to as a Renaissance Man, which is to say he wears many, many hats. Among his many achievements are the books The Nastiest Things Ever Said About Republicans and The Nastiest Things Ever Said About Democrats (both published by Lyons Press in 2006) inclusion in Maxine Hong Kinsgston’s Veterans of War, Veterans of Peace anthology (KOA Press 2012), and the independent films Magic Boat (1990) and Palooka (1991) both of which he produced, directed and wrote. Martin got started the entertainment business after serving as a U.S. Army Sergeant during his two tours of duty in Vietnam.

“I started producing video documentaries when I got back from Vietnam in 1972, as part of a grassroots media movement that became magazine format television,” says Martin, “I’ve worked as a writer/producer/director for theater, television, and films with my own production company, radio personality, stand-up comedian, gag writer, keynote speaker, speechwriter, technical writer and media producer at Microsoft’s Main Campus, corporate ghostwriter, slam poetry writer/performer, writers of book and magazine articles, freelance screenplay “doctor” and…produced online motivational and instructional programming for Kaiser Permanente. Currently, I’m writing a comedy/fitness book for the outspoken “Anti-Gym” owner, Michael Karolchyk, who appears regularly on The Dr. Phil Show.”

Martin has been the recipient of many awards and honors, including a Regional Emmy, Mill Valley, and a dozen other film and video festival statuettes/plaques/frameable awards, Add his Army Commendation Medal, Pilot’s License, Dramalogue citation, and the chops to play his wicked South Side Chicago Blues on a vintage 70s Les Paul guitar.

Full article

• Reviews • Pull Quotes • Blurbs •

“Cheese slices cheese on toast paneer. Mascarpone taleggio cheese and biscuits squirty cheese pepper jack cauliflower cheese ” ~ 1985

“st. agur blue cheese swiss. Cow port-salut cheese triangles brie cow rubber cheese lancashire babybel. Cheeseburger.”~ Contra Costa Times • 1985

“out everybody’s happy rubber cheese. Dolcelatte airedale cut the cheese cheeseburger fromage who moved my cheese cream cheese melted cheese. Cheesecake.” ~ The San Ramon Valley Herald • 1984

‘“Cheesy feet cheese strings say cheese. Cheesy grin cheese on toast cow fondue babybel goat when the cheese comes .” ~Comedy Times • 1984

Quick Takes

Tummler WIsdom

Working the Catskills

Speaking of tummlers (comedians hired to entertain the guests at summer resorts in the Catskills, a.k.a. “the Borsch Belt”), Martin tells the following story involving the mechanics of comedy.
~from East Bay Journal Interview • 198? “I met a professional tummler at Grossingers when I was a teen, schlepping borsht and latkes to the alta kocker’s and yentas. You know what he said to me? ‘Marty, don’t be a putz. Forget your Food Service Dreams of Glory. The important part of the word waiter is wait! Get paid for something you believe in. Something like this…’ He buttoned his sport coat, straightened his tie, shot his cuffs, walked over to the pool, stared into the water until he had everybody’s attention, then yelled out, “Holy Mackerel! I see a Gifilte fish!” And, as every head around the pool turned to see who was making such a ridiculous comment, he bowed his knees, placed his hands together over his head, and did a wacky jump-dive into the water. Gales of laughter. But not from me. I saw the preparation, situation, invitation, and execution of a prime piece of shtick. The type that Jerry Lewis became a multi-millionaire doing. So, I’ll play the fool if it pays cash or respect or, in a pinch, if I’m just bored of watching other people be bored.”

Home Sweet

Holy City Zoo • 1

The Holy City Zoo was my home base, and, as I used to announce before shows, "This is the place comedians call home. That is to say, all the comics use the Zoo phone when making the longest calls." The Zoo was recommended to me by Tom Finnigan, a fan of my radio show in Red Bluff in NorCal, “1520 on your dial, the big voice of Tehama County!" Tom and I improvised some comedy shtick on the show and I videotaped us monkeying around in the studio. Finnegan was determined to get on the Carson writing team and split Red Bluff for Hollywood. About a year later, I was living in Hollywood writing a continuity and liner card copy for CBS, and Tom showed up at my house with a bag of Peruvian Marching Powder and a hot idea. I was shocked to see him again, but not so shocked that we didn't snork up a few rails before getting down to what’s so. Tom had wangled a writing slot on Carson and encouraged me to follow the path he had taken. We went to Chesney's, a big steakhouse with a bar across from Carson Productions. I met other writers who coincidentally were there at lunchtime conferring over flagons of "sauce." They were a laugh riot. Pat McCormick was in full array, but sadly, there was no slot in the writers' room to pull me in. Finnigan suggested I head to San Francisco, hit the Holy City Zoo, buttonhole John Cantu to get stage time and look up Michael Pritchard to get my stuff together for stand-up. My marriage was bleeding out, so I hopped in the Fiat Dino with a cardboard box of clothes and a few hundred and headed north. I went directly to the Zoo to see Cantu. [continued in next column]

Home Club

Holy City Zoo • 2

continued from previous column
John looked at me like just another wannabe standup, and his brow furrowed until I mentioned Finnigan, and he warmed a bit. "I can let you tend the bar part-time." He said, which sounded great to me, but I didn’t have a place to stay. "John, I need a place to crash - unless you can front me some motel money." Cantu shrugged, “You can sleep on the stage until you get a place. The office is locked at night" The shag rug on the stage looked like it had been shagged on frequently. So, I slept in the Fiat until I could connect with Pritchard and maybe get a referral. The next day, I met Ruby Cooper, and she said, “You can stay at my place until you get set up,” and the road ahead became clear. The Zoo brought me roommates, friends, wonderful moments with great comedians, months of stage time as Barkeep/M.C., love, and a friendship with Robin. If you considered San Francisco a “factory town” where you work out your act until it’s ready for a “market town” like Los Angeles, the Holy City Zoo was a “factory club” club where you tested new bits until they were ready for a “market club” like The Punchline. There are a thousand stories about the Zoo. I experience at least a hundred. “COMEDY! COMEDY! COMEDY!” cried Cantu, standing on the Clement Street sidewalk in front of the barn-wood sheathed Zoo – much the same way he hawked “GIRLS! GIRLS! GIRLS!” in front of the Condor Club at Broadway and Columbus. The ballyhoo worked and, for a couple of decades, HCZ was the heartbeat of comedy.

First Gig

Best Blurb

Craziest Nights of Comedy

Worst Response

Hygge

I did my usual set to a full house at the Zoo. Four husky guys at a table in back led the laughter. The rest of the audience was laughing at the gags, AND at these guys guffawing and holding their sides, slapping their knees. The place became a monkey house. Later, when they were leaving, I was outside with a bunch of buddies. I thanked them and shook their hands. The started laughing again and one said in broken English, "We are Denmark. No English." Later, we found a couple of empty Aquavit bottles on the floor under their table. Comedy, just that easy.

Best & Oddest Audience

Napa

The Active 20-30 Club picnic at the Napa Psychiatric Hospital in the late '80s. I was the MC between the musical acts, so I had to riff as the gear was being set up. No matter what I riffed, the front rows were laughing their ASS off! "Folks, the next band is (insert trendy name), and they'll be starting in just a few moments!" GALES OF LAUGHTER! "Are you all fans?" MORE LAUGHTER "You're a great crowd, and there's plenty of snacks and drinks at the big tent over there." HYSTERIA in the first few rows, but behind them, a couple hundred people were not even smiling. Later, I was told that the first rows were designated for the mentally challenged adults from the hospital in exchange for the use of the field. From that point on, I just said nonsense to the delight of ALL. "Hey folks! I before E except after C!" They all roared wih laughter, now that they knew I was playing to the gallery. "Or... OR... when sounded as 'a' as in 'neighbor' and 'weigh!" BELLYLAUGHS all 'round.

Favorite Joke

Favorite Club Owner

Bob Ayres

Bob!
Thank you for your love and support during my Stand Up years in S.F. Last weekend, my daughter was married in a gloriously fairy-tale-like ceremony up here in northern New Hampshire. I decided to make my "Father of the Bride" speech a funny slide show (using a clicker, but no projector or screen - ala' Jackie Vernon) and the 150 guests were howling with laughter. After all the compliments and praise for surprising them with comedy, I thought of all the times I stood onstage at the Other, the Zoo, Cobbs, and the Punch, and gave heartfelt thanks for all the joy I knew while being part of the comedy community you impresarios created. The first big laugh during my "routine" was hoping that my "Dad Speech" might turn into a Ted Talk. That innocent quip brought the house down - and set the framework for an invisible Slide Show.
Again, thank you.

Joke I wish I wrote

Norm McDonald

A moth goes into a podiatrist’s office, and the podiatrist’s office says, “What seems to be the problem, moth?” The moth says “What’s the problem? Where do I begin, man? I go to work for Gregory Illinivich, and all day long I work. Honestly doc, I don’t even know what I’m doing anymore. I don’t even know if Gregory Illinivich knows. He only knows that he has power over me, and that seems to bring him happiness. But I don’t know, I wake up in a malaise, and I walk here and there… at night I…I sometimes wake up and I turn to some old lady in my bed that’s on my arm. A lady that I once loved, doc. I don’t know where to turn to. My youngest, Alexendria, she fell in the…in the cold of last year. The cold took her down, as it did many of us. And my other boy, and this is the hardest pill to swallow, doc. My other boy, Gregarro Ivinalititavitch… I no longer love him. As much as it pains me to say, when I look in his eyes, all I see is the same cowardice that I… that I catch when I take a glimpse of my own face in the mirror. If only I wasn’t such a coward, then perhaps…perhaps I could bring myself to reach over to that cocked and loaded gun that lays on the bedside behind me and end this hellish facade once and for all…Doc, sometimes I feel like a spider, even though I’m a moth, just barely hanging on to my web with an everlasting fire underneath me. I’m not feeling good. And so the doctor says, “Moth, man, you’re troubled. But you should be seeing a psychiatrist. Why on earth did you come here?” And the moth says, “‘Cause the light was on.” -Norm MacDonald